Sari Beliak
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LOS ANGELES –– Local man Eric Dunklin secretly hopes his Tinder date Melissa Chavez doesn’t notice he lied about being…
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Noah Leavy
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BETHESDA, Md. — White House officials were alarmed this morning after President Donald Trump discovered a presumed threat to “Get…
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Ted Pillow
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LONDON — Researchers at the London Institute of Hard Rock released new scientific findings today that suggest some British proto-metal…
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Nick Ortolani
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Some artists leave such an impression that their music begins to feel like home. Regardless of mood or situation, these…
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Dan Luberto
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NORWALK, Conn. — Local punk and low-ranking member of his friend group Brandon Smith is reportedly completely unaware of his…
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Mike Civins
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QUEENS, N.Y. — Aging metalhead Greg "Nailgun" Dellarose has replaced the patches on his battle vest with his important, personal…
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Collin Canning
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Anyone who’s ever been to a wedding can tell you the music is the main attraction. That’s why I poured…
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Bobby Korec
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HEMPSTEAD, N.Y. — Self-described “emo kid” and 40-year-old elementary school teacher Tucker Grating reminded his class today that when spelling…
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Brett McCabe
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OAKLAND, Calif. — Green Day frontman Billie Joe Armstrong awakened from a sleep-filled September to the unbelievable news that President…
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Patrick Coyne
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LONDON — The British-born glam rock guitarist who goes by the name “Scazz Slaughter” has almost definitely got “some dumbass…
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