Jeff Cardello
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PHOENIX — 40-something-year-old Jason Deluca has reportedly based his entire personality and lifestyle around a two-year period of his 20s…
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Bobby Korec
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BOSTON — Local straight edger Pete Westpan is generally apathetic about National Edge Day falling on a Saturday this year,…
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Jason VanSlycke
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MILWAUKEE — A feral hair-metal band identifying itself as Twisted Sister broke into the home of and terrorized a local…
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James Webster
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SEATTLE — A passionate bout of intercourse between local couple Robert Levin and Andrea MacNeil was put on hold this…
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Patrick Lilly
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ANAHEIM, Calif. — Yesterday’s funeral for beloved ska frontman Bruce Becker was strangely positive despite the somber occasion, due to…
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Sari Beliak
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LOS ANGELES –– Local man Eric Dunklin secretly hopes his Tinder date Melissa Chavez doesn’t notice he lied about being…
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Noah Leavy
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BETHESDA, Md. — White House officials were alarmed this morning after President Donald Trump discovered a presumed threat to “Get…
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Ted Pillow
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LONDON — Researchers at the London Institute of Hard Rock released new scientific findings today that suggest some British proto-metal…
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Nick Ortolani
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Some artists leave such an impression that their music begins to feel like home. Regardless of mood or situation, these…
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Dan Luberto
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NORWALK, Conn. — Local punk and low-ranking member of his friend group Brandon Smith is reportedly completely unaware of his…
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