Krissy Howard
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CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. — Local woman Denise Giorgeschi was “utterly shocked” yesterday after finding an mp3 file of AC/DC’s “You Shook…
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Rob Steinberg
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DALLAS — Local Rude Boy Rodney Willet acknowledged his privilege to the world yesterday by confessing that in his years…
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LONDON — Oasis founding member Liam Gallagher has tested positive for COVID-19, and is finally willing to reconcile with his…
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Nick Ortolani
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PLAINSVILLE, Iowa — Local virgin Andy Wardell grew concerned yesterday that his future sexual intercourse may resemble the acts described…
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Rob Walker
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HOUSTON — Rap artist and entrepreneur Chamillionaire, known for his hit single “Ridin’,” only paid a chahundred dollars in taxes…
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John Dixon
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It’s 2020. The country is divided, the world is on fire, and a pop-punk album is topping the charts. At…
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James Knapp
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CHICAGO — Veteran emo-punk band Alkaline Trio has returned to the studio to brainstorm vaguely gothic puns to title their…
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Daniel Arnold
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SEATTLE — Dedicated grandfather and unapologetic metalhead Lyle Makowski carved the names of his two grandsons, Henry and Mitchell, on…
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Jason VanSlycke
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Hey there, little guy. I’m your uncle, John, but everyone calls me Bonez. So... what colors you like? Nothing? Okay…
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Ryan Danley
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PHOENIX — 45-year-old punk rocker and local senior accountant Danny Rogers was spotted yesterday afternoon circling the “A” on a…
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