NEW YORK — A pack of annoyingly talented musical theater kids are reportedly moments away from completely ruining local neighborhood bar McCormick’s monthly karaoke night,…
LAS VEGAS — The new Nick Cave album “Wraiths of a Crooked Burial” is outselling all of Cave’s previous work with an overwhelmingly positive response…
FANWOOD, N.J. — Self-described punk kid Scott “Snotski” Tamaro turned 50 this week, shocking both friends and family yet again with his inability to use…
Mmmm, where do you think you’re going? I see you pollinating my sweet golden honey with your eyeballs. Sure, you could buy a Porcelain Innards…
Somebody help! I just listened to every Pavement album in a row, and now even the simplest conversation is like taking a giant ramrod to…
SCOTCH PLAINS, N.J. — Local software engineer and Faith No More superfan Duane Morsman left his residence this morning wearing a Faith No More t-shirt…
We’ve all been there. One minute you’re on your ’05 Yamaha Banshee, kicking up mud and slicing through air on the outskirts of town, and…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Music fan Laura Kesrick’s insecurities were confirmed yesterday after discovering an alarming number of favorite albums in the dollar bin of local…
QUEENS, N.Y. — Aging metalhead Greg “Nailgun” Dellarose has replaced the patches on his battle vest with his important, personal health information, including known allergies…
WASHINGTON — Luxury fashion designer Hugo Boss AG has been selected to create a bold, new uniform for Immigration and Customs Enforcement [ICE], the federal…
Curses! Here I am trying to enjoy a live-streamed performance from Cradle of Filth, my beloved purveyors of gothic metal darkness, and wouldn’t you know…
MIAMI — Restaurant chain Benihana will offer a full hibachi dining experience, including its trademark onion volcanoes, to customers parked curbside in the wake of…
PHILADELPHIA — Local man Eddie Lemburg was stunned today to learn that coworker Steve Winfers, who considers himself part of the LGBTQ community, is completely…
Mr. Bungle? Please, do I look that old? I’m just razzing you. Seriously though, Mr. Bungle was my father’s name, so call me George. George…
NEW HOPE, Pa. — Die-hard fans of alt-rock band Ween can now purchase tickets directly through their court-ordered ankle bracelets, thanks to a new service…