Mike Civins
•
MIAMI — Restaurant chain Benihana will offer a full hibachi dining experience, including its trademark onion volcanoes, to customers parked…
Read More →
John Danek
•
NEW YORK — OneStar Bank CEO Finnegan Bostwick claimed today that if the U.S. Congress doesn’t pass a separate bailout…
Read More →
Ben Friedman
•
LOS ANGELES — Social media website MySpace announced today it will require their singular employee to work from home during…
Read More →
Ella Gale
•
WASHINGTON — Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos stood triumphantly beneath a “Mission Accomplished” banner in an empty cafetorium yesterday after…
Read More →
Patrick Coyne
•
ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local man and alleged “wannabe Patch Adams bitch” Dan Paulson is allegedly acting like “he cured…
Read More →
Peter Casciato
•
UTICA, N.Y. — Trapped at home for over a week due to the coronavirus, out-of-work waiter Jim Stevens is quickly…
Read More →
Louie Aronowitz
•
OMAHA, Neb. — Local punk and part-time crafts enthusiast Mark Penderson, seeing a need for DIY face masks to help…
Read More →
Nick Ortolani
•
LOS ANGELES — Ethically non-monogamous couples around the world announced today that open relationships will be closed indefinitely to help…
Read More →
Rob Walker
•
FLAVORTOWN — Celebrity chef and T.V. personality Guy Fieri was placed under unexpected quarantine due to the coronavirus after arriving…
Read More →
Jeremy Kaplowitz
•
ATLANTA — Musician, comedian, and actor Donald Glover released a vaccine he created for COVID-19 on his website donaldpresentsthecure.com at…
Read More →
