Culture Archives - Page 407

quentin tarantino, film maker, filming, feet

Quentin Tarantino Getting Sick of Filming His Own Feet

Kyle Stanley • April 25, 2020

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Celebrated filmmaker Quentin Tarantino is not handling social isolation well and is allegedly getting very sick of…

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STUDY: Cat’s Real Voice Sounds Nothing Like Voice You Do for Her

Patrick Coyne • April 25, 2020

SPRINGFIELD, Va. — A surprising new study found that in reality, your cat’s voice sounds nothing like the lispy, insultingly…

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Amazon Declares Moral Bankruptcy

Justin Cox • April 25, 2020

SEATTLE — Online retailer Amazon officially declared moral bankruptcy today thanks to their ongoing, unethical treatment of employees amid the…

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Woman Braces for 30 More Days of Battling Coronavirus by Eating Acid, Staring at Houseplants

Lauren Lavín • April 24, 2020

SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Following the order to continue sheltering in place for the next 30 days, local woman Autumn…

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janine, hospital, enema of the state, blink 182

Short-Staffed Hospital Hires “Enema of the State” Cover Model Janine Lindemulder

The Hard Times Staff • April 24, 2020

WHITTIER, Calif. — Administrators at the grossly understaffed Whittier Hospital Medical Center have hired former adult film performer Janine Lindemulder…

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Girlfriend Downgraded to Roommate

Kyle Kelly-Yahner • April 23, 2020

ST. LOUIS — Local punk Luke Koester downgraded his live-in romantic partner Samatha Tsai from “girlfriend” to “roommate” yesterday following…

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Woman Buys 100 Boxes of Hair Dye Just for the Gloves

Taylor Roebuck • April 23, 2020

LANSING, Mich. — Local punk Diana Spalsbury purchased 100 boxes of semi-permanent hair dye yesterday, just for the pair of…

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murder, becker, quarantine, death, scary

“I Guess Now Is As Good A Time As Any to Rewatch ‘Becker,'” States Quarantined Man Who Just Finished Eating His Entire Family

Tim Nash • April 22, 2020

SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local father Daniel Mercer had no choice but to rewatch the oft-overlooked ’90s sitcom “Becker” yesterday after…

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Disney Faces Backlash After Doc McStuffins’ Bizarre Coronavirus Rant

Amir Adan • April 22, 2020

BURBANK, Calif. — Disney executives have come under fire for shocking statements made last night by animated television star Doc…

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Quarantined Roommates Mistake Enabling Each Other’s Drinking As Burgeoning Friendship

James Webster • April 22, 2020

ALBANY, N.Y. — Roommates Jonah Gray and Nic Shore have become fast friends under New York State’s PAUSE order by…

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