Culture Archives - Page 407

Patrick Coyne • May 9, 2020

SPANISH FORT, Ala. — Millennial Thomas Cervantes proudly stated today that he’s old enough to remember when MTV still played…

Noah Leavy • May 9, 2020

DES MOINES, Iowa — Local Klan member and conservative activist David Mount has changed his views on wearing masks in…

Dan Kozuh • May 9, 2020

DULUTH, Minn. — Local couple Alice Parker and Shaun McCoy announced the reunification of their relationship today, after having already…

Patrick Coyne • May 8, 2020

NEW YORK — NBA commissioner Adam Silver is using the league’s ongoing suspension due to COVID-19 to finally add “no…

Zach Russell • May 8, 2020

NEW YORK — Local man David Treyborn realized today, while testing the flow of the new bidet attachment he purchased…

Gregg Gethard • May 7, 2020

GLENSIDE, Penn. — A new report from the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention states that a majority of American’s…

Jordan Breeding • May 7, 2020

Given that we’ve been in some sort of recession or another ever since I’ve been old enough to know the…

Doug Francisco • May 7, 2020

NEW YORK — Quarantined high school bully Evan Maddox, under stay-at-home orders for the past three weeks, gave himself swirlies…

Ted Pillow • May 6, 2020

ATLANTA — Georgia Governor Brian Kemp announced that the state will close hospitals, re-open bars, and “just let God do…

Louie Aronowitz • May 6, 2020

SAVANNAH, Ga. — Local punk Jake Stanton used a photo of a trashy apartment as his Zoom background yesterday to…

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