It’s time for our Adopt-a-Pet post of the week, in which we highlight wonderful pets that are looking for their forever home. This week, we…
Everyone on planet Earth knows “Mambo No. 5.” Even if you were merely an egg in your mother’s womb at the time, you heard it…
With the Verhoevian monster truck rally that is the Republican National Convention finally upon us, we here at The Hard Times decided that the only…
Every day I see the mailman and I am transfixed. Every day I imagine the sound of empty bottles clinking around in that truck as…
Ooo, I’ve never had mugwort/wormwood tea, but I’m excited to try! This is the perfect way to end a great first date. Though, I have…
In the United States, corporations enjoy many of the same rights as people — things like freedom of speech, the right to enter into contracts,…
America is being destroyed by the liberal elite and it makes me absolutely sick. And it would’ve made my dad sick, too. After all, he…
We had the opportunity to talk with Mastodon and get the nitty-gritty of what they had to deal with getting up during the Pleistocene Epoch.…
Boy, is my life in shambles these days. I just got promoted to district manager of Omega Printz and it’s been a huge disaster. Not…
Like most Americans, we spent our time quarantined catching up on podcasts, learning to cook (shoutout my sourdough starter), and plotting how to get back…
Big day in my relationship! At a protest yesterday, for the first time ever my boyfriend cried in front of me. Emotional communication is extremely…
You wouldn’t be able to tell now because of my thick pecs but I used to look like a real dork. That’s because I was…
Arguably one of the most famous actors of the 20th century, Bugs Bunny developed a new sense of comedy, sarcasm, and stunt work in motion…
Life sure is a trip. One minute you’re trying to drive and eat a comically oversized pretzel at the same time and the next minute…
During a Hard Times office party, I said to the higher-ups we should use some of our PPP loan to perfect a way to bring…