CHEEKTOWAGA, N.Y. — Local dad Steven Vuong interrupted a heartfelt conversation early yesterday evening to let family members know he liked a commercial that was…
RICHMOND, Va. — Local metalhead Kevin Miller turned the volume down on his amp from 11 to 10 earlier this morning in a clear indicator…
LOS ANGELES — Legendary metal band Goop has reunited after seven years apart to release a boring, flavorless craft beer dubbed “Goop Soup,” disappointed fans…
Every day I see the mailman and I am transfixed. Every day I imagine the sound of empty bottles clinking around in that truck as…
We had the opportunity to talk with Mastodon and get the nitty-gritty of what they had to deal with getting up during the Pleistocene Epoch.…
IMPERIAL BEACH, Calif. — A punk shark known to terrorize beachgoers attacked a scuba diver by ripping the sleeves off his wetsuit earlier today, Coast…
MONTREAL — PornHub I.T. guy Dewey Palmer helped a fellow employee troubleshoot their malfunctioning computer this morning by suggesting they “jack the computer off, then…
BROOKLYN — Quarantined punk Lex Sykes took to his own bathroom last week to practice his vandalism skills due to the ongoing closures of bars…
NEW YORK — Dr. Mark Miller turned down a homemade mask today that could help protect him from COVID-19 after seeing that it featured album…
WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD It’s not very often we get such a cataclysmic symbiosis of metal and tomfoolery in one cult classic movie, and when…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — The only working toilet in local punk house The Mooseknuckle is simply a litter box following a breakdown in plumbing weeks ago,…
SAN DIEGO — Junior designer Lewis Cooper allegedly accidentally contaminated his entire office with the deadly coronavirus yesterday, thanks to his fear of calling in…
Here I am at the local Burger Blaster minding my own business when this guy takes his Portable Porno Player out! I’m thinking like, my…
SYRACUSE, N.Y. — The resale price of a rare Princess Diana Beanie Baby rose exponentially last week after local collector and drug dealer Blake Kaiser…
LOS ANGELES — A flurry of legendary thrash bands returned to their original form today after guitarist Dave Mustaine signed a contract to rejoin Metallica…