WARWICK, R.I. — Local punk Rich Stoklasa successfully delayed prematurely ejaculating during intercourse with his wife by thinking about every later-era Black Flag album, sources…
Yo dawg, what’s the 411 with the shorties these days? I was just rolling with the homies and spittin’ mad ‘90s slang and these Gen-Z…
WRENTHAM, Mass. — Proud death metal fan parents Danica and Brandon Asheim were so excited about their five-year-old son’s first attempt at drawing a horrific…
At first glance, the whimsical world of Harry Potter may not seem like a place that would produce fans of the early satanic Norwegian black…
I can’t believe that this keeps happening! What are the odds that another Tinder date had to leave in the middle of me describing how…
Ugh, what a bummer. That local vegan restaurant in my neighborhood closed down even though I always thought about going there. This really sucks because…
WASHINGTON — Embattled Congressman George Santos says he is not worried about his future as a politician and that he is already shifting gears to…
TACOMA, Wash. — Local man Collin Pike very briefly filled the gaping hole of emptiness in his life by impulsively buying a band shirt he…
COLUMBUS, Ohio — Local vegan child Jackson Lavigne asked his friends if anyone planned to eat the Smarties and that he’d even be willing to…
Hatebreed formed in 1994 and initially spread their brand of baggy-pantsed metalcore from Connecticut all the way to the western end of Connecticut. Shortly after…
NEW YORK — Longtime Fugazi fan Trent Smith corrected Guy Picciotto on the pronunciation of his own last name after meeting him in person at…
ORLANDO, Fla. — Local mother Doreen Ludip was shocked and outraged to discover a copy of the “Diary of Anne Frank,” which documents the Nazi…
Since we’ve already ranked the albums from both Converge and Cave In we thought it only fitting to complete the triumvirate of the three big…
LOS GATOS, Calif. — Executives of streaming service Netflix announced they ordered a new season of the hit dystopian anthology series “Black Mirror” which will…
COLUMBUS, Ohio — Aging hardcore guy and noted crowd killer Tom Reilly reportedly received a gold X Swatch for his decades-long career as a pit…