LOS ANGELES — Literary agent and frequent binge drinker Lana Delano has no idea that despite her protests, California’s statewide…
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You’ve waited for what feels like hours. Your mouth is watering. Your nose smells the moist warmth of the starchy…
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COOKEVILLE, Tenn. — Cautious guitarist Samuel Tollins is almost ready to fart near his new Fender American Professional II Stratocaster…
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Hey. Hi! Yep, you’re reading the sticker over my left nipple correctly. It says “BLOOD DONOR HERO”. I made it…
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SARASOTA, Fla. – 6th grader and budding musician Wyatt Backstrom announced that he was stepping away from the Squier Strat…
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LAS VEGAS — Radio rock stalwarts The Killers apologized to fans yesterday morning after realizing that they missed an obvious,…
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FORT WORTH, Texas — Recent newlyweds and longtime couple Darren Oltowski and Denice Landry have recently begun dabbling in perfunctory,…
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I know that not everyone is going to agree with this decision, but the council of straight edge elders has…
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MASSAPEQUA, N.Y. — Self-proclaimed “experimental indie” band True Friction are horrified to see that their “Related Artists” tab on Spotify…
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SAN RAFAEL, Calif. — Metallica lead guitarist and wah pedal enthusiast Kirk Hammett couldn’t remember if he is supposed to…
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