Oh my God, I am so sorry that I somehow missed that text! I mean, I didn’t miss it. I saw it within seconds of you sending it because it’s 2020 and we all have the same cell phones. Like, obviously I saw it.
The honest truth is that I am plain ol’ terrible at communication. And me saying it out loud gives me a free pass to continue being a shitty communicator and, more importantly, a shitty friend. I should also let you know that I have no desire to change this aspect of my personality. Ever. Wow, what a weight off my chest!
Sometimes it’s genuinely accidental. You shoot me a text while I’m driving and I see it but I don’t want to text and drive since it’ll pause the video I’m watching. And by the time I get home? Totally forgot. When I realize later, I honestly feel dumb and bad. While, ya know, still not texting you back.
For that, I am sorry. Not sorry enough to change, but definitely enough to tell you about it. That said, there are other times like when you email me and it actually requires some thought and decision-making on my part. Sorry, but no. I will not be responding, but I appreciate you trying! I probably won’t even open it if the subject hints at me having to do something. It will remain in my inbox with the other 15,655 unread emails.
If it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty bad at communicating in-person too. Anytime I’m clearly acting bothered by something and someone asks if I want to talk about it, I just grumble, “No, I’m fine.” I never cave. Hell, I’ll even gaslight them with the classic, “Now you’re making this weird.”
In all fairness, I can see how our relationship is frustrating for you. So how about a compromise? What if you work really hard to find better ways to get through to me, and if you do, maybe I’ll respond more. Maybe skywriting will catch my attention? Or perhaps a nice handwritten letter on parchment. Actually, no. Definitely not that.