NORFOLK, Va. — Local boyfriend Byron Hogarth admitted that his lack of a bedframe was a conscious choice to avoid the possibility of monsters hiding…
NEW YORK — Legendary auteur director Phillip Schaeffer was reportedly trapped in his Criterion closet and forced to survive on nothing but his own films…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Sullen members of goth-rock band Vacant Belfry are reportedly embarrassed with their new guitarist’s proclivity for perpetually donning a big floppy…
BROOKLINE, Mass. — Local birdwatcher Gregory Luddy is reportedly so punk rock in her birding that the birds she’s into watching are ones you’ve probably…
SAN LUIS OBISPO, Calif. — Recent skeet shooting enthusiast Farley Gunther is reportedly “none the wiser” on the whereabouts of the large amount of missing…
LOS ANGELES — Members of Hollywood mainstays Eager Young Space Cadet regret letting headliner Porky Pig borrow their kick drum after he inflicted some extreme,…
CHELSEA, Mich. — The right leg of local One Man Band “Dandy Dale’s Ragshackle Ramtime Revue” is leaving to pursue a solo kick drum career…
SANTA FE, N.M. — Attendees of last night’s set by scene legends Beyond Silent were surprised to notice that, for a solid few minutes, everyone…
NEW YORK — Pioneering California punk band FEAR will appear in this year’s Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade now that the 40-year ban assigned by NBC…
TUCSON, Ariz. — Every musician who played the Rat’s Nest Thursday night showed an unprecedented display of scene camaraderie by forming two lines, high fiving,…
NAPERVILLE, IL — Recently gifted a four-track tape recorder, local musician Lee Ferrante recorded an especially timid and breathy vocal track while clearly not wanting…
NEW YORK — Pitchfork’s ever popular yearly list of Greatest Songs About Being a Little Teapot reportedly made the debatable choice to rank “I’m a…
NAPA, Calif. — Members of garage-punk band Prank Patrol almost came to blows for the fifth week in a row while arguing which “Sex and…
BRATTLEBORO, VT — Brave members of the late synth-punk band Ejector Seats experienced a flood from a burst sewage pipe in their rehearsal space, during…
LOS ANGELES — Psych-rockers Flute Gingrich appeared on the popular Amoeba Records Youtube series “What’s in my Bag?” and instead of choosing a handful of…