HONESDALE, Pa. — The drummer of melodic hardcore band Goofus Eats Gallant was reportedly chafed when his philistine bandmates barbarically…
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BEACON, N.Y. — Local guitarist Heff Kelsey was baffled after discovering the piece of music he was playing reportedly required…
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Today the Hard Times listens to the third and latest full-length of New York City’s own Hank Wood and the…
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NEEDLES, Calif. — Frequent patrons of local watering hole The Running Refrigerator are reportedly befuddled over realizing the bar’s ever-playing…
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OAKLAND, Calif. — Perpetual “lost cause” Kip “The Drip” Dellaher miraculously passed his science and history exams today after simply…
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PONTIAC, Mich. — Several local college seniors impressed guests by enhancing their party’s epicness with the presence of a barnyard…
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SEWICKLEY, Pa. — Audience members of last night’s Duck Cruncher show were surprised by an elaborate timeshare presentation instead of…
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PRINCETON, N.J. — Top scientists from around the nation are reportedly perplexed beyond belief upon discovering that the band Touchstone…
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Oftentimes, the problem with punk music made by actual PEOPLE is that those people are so rarely puppets, sitcom characters,…
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MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Former psychobilly luminaries The Rot Hodders were revealed to be accidentally misdiagnosed and will be moving forward…
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