These days everybody wants to play it safe. Just go to any store right now. What does every cashier say at the end of your…
There is no denying it: The current state of affairs is grim. The nation is in the hands of a senile, selfish madman and we…
Perhaps the most unsung responsibility of a parent is cultural initiation. It is my job to introduce my children to every aspect of the human…
Netflix is always changing up its offerings. Sometimes it’s due to contract disputes and other times it’s because the shows star people accused of committing…
LOS ANGELES — Dozens of victims came forward this past weekend with completely nonsexual harassment accusations against iconic singer Morrissey. Nikita Whelms, a stagehand at…
These days it seems like we’re all starting to feel a little creaky in the knees. Remember when the kid from the Nevermind cover bought…
Ever wonder what happened to your God? It seemed like he was EVERYWHERE in ’80s and ’90s, but today, as you watch me replace the…
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — 26-year-old Marcus Quinn, giving the appearance of a normal Millennial man on the surface, is completely incapable of expressing emojis, confirmed…
I’m sick and tired of hearing all these bullshit arguments against the removal of confederate monuments in our country. Whether you’re a white nationalist, a…
NEW YORK — Registered audiophile Marshal Pengram was forced to identify himself to his new neighbors again last week, a routine he has repeated every…
I’m at the deli orderin my sandwich, mindin my own business, and I notice the pair of tits behind the counter is bein real skimp…
So after weeks of duds and missed connections you’re finally having a good date. You take her out to a decent restaurant, the conversation is…
NEW YORK — In a performance challenging the very definition of the word “event,” David Blaine will continually eat Olive Garden breadsticks for three days…
LONDON — David Bowie stunned millions of fans yesterday, emerging from the tomb in seemingly peak physical condition and ending his “Celebrity Who Died in…
LOS ANGELES — Brian Eno released his latest album earlier this week, which Eno believes is the perfect soundscape for any man named Kevin waiting…