Are you a fan of the home invasion horror subgenre? Because I think I’m living in a straight-to-streaming B-movie nightmare as I type out what…
Life Hack? Why I Deleted Social Media Apps to Spend Twice as Much Time on Social Media Websites
Hey, man, you look a little down. Everything ok? Oh yikes, sorry to hear about your mom and that bus. Have you tried spending less…
Are you struggling to connect with modern dating? It’s been said that many people feel frustrated with the apps, and are looking for ways to…
How Come a Post About the Thing I’m Most Proud of Gets 3 Likes, but a Picture of My Dumb Kid Gets Like 100?
Day in and day out, I’m grinding away on new music. And I’m not one of those guys who bangs out a quick riff, tosses…
CHICAGO – An ongoing investigation found that, at this very moment, 10 people are looking at your LinkedIn profile and becoming insatiably aroused, multiple sweaty…
Punk’s LinkedIn Headshot Only Picture of Him Not Blackout Drunk
SANTA FE, N.M. — Local punk Trevor McGill was shocked but not surprised to find the only existing photo of him not blackout drunk was…
It wasn’t always like this. They were barely on social media. It began slowly, like all terror: just the occasional comment on a tragic news…
Six Normal Life Tasks that Are Now Viral TikTok Challenges
Social media trends come and go so quickly it’s hard to know what the hell is cool anymore. When it comes to TikTok, entire memes…
I Can’t Believe This War Is Still Going Even Though I Posted Multiple Flag Emojis Online
Well, guys, I’m honestly so shocked and upset right now. I just got another breaking news notification on my phone about the Israel-Hamas war. Ugh.…
New App Connects People Who Want to Lie in Bed Together Like the Grandparents From “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”
LOS ANGELES – An unusual new app called NapR is making socializing considerably easier for homebodies by connecting users who just want to lie in…
How To Express Concern About Bullying on Social Media Without Sounding Like a Virgin Nerd Loser
It’s important to approach online bullying and harassment over social media with a mind like your mom’s legs — open. Verbal abuse on the Internet…
Old High School Friend Flattered to Receive Facebook Invite for Band’s Gig 600 Miles Away
MARIETTA, Ga. — Local IT manager Caleb Summers was taken aback earlier this week to receive a Facebook Event invitation from high school friend of…
Instagram Sex Bot Genuinely Interested In Band’s Music
CHICAGO – Sex bot and general scammer SEXsingleMAlloRy was shocked to discover she was a fan of Chicago band Rat Ass’ new music, tech sources…
LOS ANGELES — Local priest Father Charles Bovie recently pronounced newlywed social media influencers “wife guy and wife” during their wedding ceremony, doomscrolling sources confirmed. …
How to Explain to Your Parents that They Don’t Need to Comment on Every Facebook Post They See
The way our parents engage on Facebook with the same excitement and wonder as we did in the mid-2000s is adorable. Though it’s now largely…