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How I Quit the Apps and Started Meeting Men the Old-Fashioned Way by Playing the “Sweet Child O’ Mine” Riff Incorrectly at Guitar Center

Are you struggling to connect with modern dating? It’s been said that many people feel frustrated with the apps, and are looking for ways to meet a potential partner in person.

According to experts, the issue with dating apps is that they force you to paint yourself in a positive, competent light. And as much as that can make you attractive to potential matches at first, it’s not necessarily conducive to a long-term partnership. Sometimes, people can feel catfished when a dating profile advertises someone falsely.

So I brainstormed this brilliant icebreaker. Because if someone is going to date me, they need to know all of the things that truly make up who I am, including my lack of musical ability and attention-seeking tendencies.

I decided to start playing the “Sweet Child O’ Mine” riff incorrectly at Guitar Center for several hours at a time. I challenged myself to do it for five days in a row, and here’s how it went:

Day 1: Within seconds, a man approached me. He pointed out that I was playing the riff incorrectly, and gallantly offered to teach me. But as we were having our meet cute, another man approached us. He shoved the first guy out of the way, and then things escalated into a fistfight. Unfortunately, it reached the point where the employees were forced to call the police.

Day 2: Just like yesterday, a potential suitor came up to me almost immediately. He went to demonstrate how to play the riff, but struggled. He insisted that he hadn’t played it in a long while, and he was just rusty. As he fumbled around, another man approached him and offered a suggestion. They hit it off and began flirting, and eventually exchanged numbers.

Day 3: At first, I wondered if the employees were getting sick of hearing me play the same riff over and over. But now I’m fairly positive that they enjoy hearing it. In fact, one of them started crying what I can only assume were tears of joy. She even offered to pay one of the customers to come over and help me learn to play it correctly. What a great wingwoman!

Day 4: At this point, things were starting to feel a bit stale. So I decided to shake things up by playing some other songs incorrectly. Almost immediately, the manager came and kicked me out. When I asked why, they said something about how “this is a place of business” and I “can’t keep having rehearsals for my math rock band” there.

Day 5: Unfortunately, I was informed that I have been banned from several Guitar Center locations within North America. There are signs with a picture of me posted outside saying to not let me in. I’m disappointed but not heartbroken because it’s a pretty decent photo of me.

So there you have it! Although I didn’t find lasting love during this experiment, there were some undeniable successes here.

Sure, I still don’t know how to play the riff correctly. And I was banned from a major chain of businesses. But putting yourself out there is never really without risk.

A little rejection isn’t going to stop me, and I’m not giving up just yet! Because there are still plenty of fish in the sea, as well as other music stores. As they say: When God closes a door, he opens up a window. When you get banned from Guitar Center, a Sam Ash opens up down the street.