TOLEDO, Ohio — Nieces and nephews of local fun uncle Dennis “The Dennster” Drindle were shocked recently to learn that Drindle regrets every last life…
SCHAUMBURG, Ill. — Twice divorced Uncle Mike Dilmer became outraged beyond comprehension due to the mere existence of Tofurky at his extended family’s Thanksgiving celebration,…
They say that alcohol destroys families. But it’s the only thing keeping mine together. I would know, as someone who is always within arms reach…
SPOKANE, Wash. — Recent college graduate Matt DeLuca lost an argument early yesterday afternoon after his uncle, Gino DeLuca, simply repeated a fact back to…
VANCOUVER, Wash. — Covert racist Nancy Jensen admitted she is sick of her more conspicuously bigoted husband receiving all the recognition for his horrendous views…
WASHINGTON — Researchers have discovered that the origin of the “fake news” phenomenon stretches all the way back to 2002, when your friend Dennis McNulty…
Like many of you, we here at The Hard Times got sick and tired of hearing our racist loser uncles complain about being in Facebook…
FAIRHOPE, Ala. — Seven year old Kacey Logan let her uncle beat her in a round of Mario Kart 8 Deluxe at a family party…
HORSHAM, Pa. — Local uncle and baby boomer Don Waldemire added the incredibly popular, carbonated alcoholic beverage White Claw today to his ever-growing list of…
SEATTLE, Wash. — Gamer Kyle Barros continues to insist his uncle worked for, and was subsequently murdered at the hands of, Nintendo, according to long…
MIDDLEBURY, Vt. — Local 6th grader David Kammer has been shunned by his classmates at Middlebury Union Middle School after repeated attempts to explain that…
SAN DIEGO — Local alcoholic Jerry Tatum announced plans to somehow ruin his niece’s wedding later tonight with his drunk and disorderly antics, despite the…
ATHENS, Ga. — Local uncle and self-described “Make America Great Again Patriot” Jerry Siedow taped a handwritten setlist of prepared, unpopular opinions and comments next…