Billy Patterson
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February 23, 2022
ALEXANDRIA, Va. — Local man Greg Fitzwater began scrolling through his targeted ads to try to piece together what happened…
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Ben Friedman
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February 8, 2022
Hey bud, haven’t seen you around in a while, oh, you've been isolating! Didn’t know you could wait tables from…
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Ben Friedman
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February 8, 2022
Hey bud, haven’t seen you around in a while, oh, you've been isolating! Didn’t know you could wait tables from…
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Patrick Coyne
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February 11, 2021
WARREN, Mich. — Millennial Jamie Thorpe suffered a retail-induced panic attack yesterday after hearing several beloved bands from her youth…
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Bobby Korec
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November 28, 2020
Where did I get this totally sweet retro band shirt, you ask? You might think I bought it from Hot…
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Stephen Bell
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June 16, 2020
MINNEAPOLIS — Popular retailer Target sternly pledged to its employees today that any Coronavirus they are exposed to at their…
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NEW YORK — NYC Police Commissioner Dermot Shea confirmed today that police shooting targets all come standard with their backs…
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Erin McLaughlin
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October 20, 2019
MARION, Ill. — Local man Billy Harrison amended his Instagram username yesterday from “billyharrison” to “billyharrisonmusic” immediately after purchasing a…
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Dan Kozuh
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October 16, 2019
So, you find yourself at Target for some reason trying to cool down after your old man was on your…
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Rob Steinberg
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October 17, 2018
AURORA, Ill. — Soon-to-be 36-year-old white man James Brady is spending his last days in the 18-to-35 consumer demographic saying…
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