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Guy Tacks on “Music” to End of Instagram Username After Buying Guitar From Target

MARION, Ill. — Local man Billy Harrison amended his Instagram username yesterday from “billyharrison” to “billyharrisonmusic” immediately after purchasing a nylon-string acoustic guitar from Target, disturbed sources confirm.

“The moment I noticed that sweet lady next to a three-piece recorder, coming with a gig case, tuner, and stand for only $99, I knew being a musician was my calling,” said Harrison. “I dabbled with guitar in middle school but gave up when I couldn’t get a D chord to sound right. But I’ve realized that shouldn’t stop me from achieving my dreams — plus, I think they have apps now to make sure the strings sound good or something.”

Target employee and former high school classmate of Harrison’s, Sheila Thoen, was shocked when he uploaded a video of him playing guitar in his room just two hours after the purchase.

“I was nervous when I saw him at self-checkout, holding the guitar upside down by its neck trying to find the barcode,” said Thoen. “I hoped it was just a present for his little brother or something… but when I checked Insta after work and saw he’d already uploaded a cover of ‘Such Great Heights,’ I deleted Instagram immediately.”

Local guitarist Clifford Goldfuss joined the disgust over Harrison’s social media activity.

“He added ‘music’ to his username only three months after I did,” said Goldfuss. “At least when I started, I had some poetry from high school to use as lyrics for original songs. I mean, come on… covers? I’m pissed that it’s only been a day and he already has eight followers.”

Despite the backlash, some are proud of Harrison for sharing his musical potential with the world.

“I figured out how to download Instagram when Billy said he was doing music online now,” said his mother Dorris Harrison. “I’m very proud of him for working so hard to achieve his dreams, and I think it’s humble that he never mentioned his interest in music before. You don’t meet a lot of musicians like that!”

At press time, Harris had ordered a bandana off of Amazon and reportedly has a “Beverly Hills” cover coming out next week.