ALEXANDRIA, Va. — Local man Greg Fitzwater began scrolling through his targeted ads to try to piece together what happened after waking up from a…
Hey bud, haven’t seen you around in a while, oh, you’ve been isolating! Didn’t know you could wait tables from home, ha ha. Wait, you…
WARREN, Mich. — Millennial Jamie Thorpe suffered a retail-induced panic attack yesterday after hearing several beloved bands from her youth as background music at a…
Where did I get this totally sweet retro band shirt, you ask? You might think I bought it from Hot Topic like some sort of…
MINNEAPOLIS — Popular retailer Target sternly pledged to its employees today that any Coronavirus they are exposed to at their stores would be generally the…
NEW YORK — NYC Police Commissioner Dermot Shea confirmed today that police shooting targets all come standard with their backs turned, clearing up any speculation…
MARION, Ill. — Local man Billy Harrison amended his Instagram username yesterday from “billyharrison” to “billyharrisonmusic” immediately after purchasing a nylon-string acoustic guitar from Target,…
So, you find yourself at Target for some reason trying to cool down after your old man was on your case again. Suddenly, you get…
AURORA, Ill. — Soon-to-be 36-year-old white man James Brady is spending his last days in the 18-to-35 consumer demographic saying a final goodbye to being…
HARRISON, N.J. – Despite the venue’s strict policy of inclusion and tolerance regarding gender identity, no person of any kind at Tuesday night’s League Leader…
PEORIA, Ill. — Local skinhead Melinda “Rude Girl” Rodriguez was unwittingly conscripted into service at a nearby Target when she wore her favorite red Fred…
CINCINNATI – Horror struck local man Brad Allen today as he exited the electronics section of popular retailer Target and saw the person he described as…