For kids, Halloween is all about candy. For parents, it’s an opportunity to show said children that Mommy and Daddy still have incredibly healthy libidos.…
EUGENE, Ore. — Local actuary Kelly Freeman reported that her recent breakup from noise musician Floyd Harrell has “completely ruined” the genre for her, but…
NEW YORK — Attendees of a dinner party hosted by Jon and James Adler were ignorant that the couple had engaged in a raw, depraved…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local man Clay Horton briefly paused fellating a complete stranger at a glory hole in an area gay bar to inquire if…
So I guess we’re not knocking anymore? Alright, so you caught me whacking it. You can stop freaking out. Let’s talk about this like adults.…
VAN NUYS, Calif. — Local nursing student Jade Ng divulged to close friends at a bar yesterday her plans to “fix” her Hinge match, local…
CORNWALL, UK — Singer and pianist Tori Amos officially entered into a domestic partnership with her longtime piano bench in a quiet ceremony with close…
WILKES-BARRE, Pa. — Local woman Alicia Beacon discovered a major red flag during her first date with Tony Delough in his overwhelmingly vocal distaste for…
NEW YORK — Compassionate Queens native Kacey Mora selflessly volunteered her time to help bathe actor and infrequent washer Jake Gyllenhaal, sources close to the…
CHICAGO — Perpetually lonely heterosexual man Cliff Parker is living under the mistaken assumption that he would be getting a lot more action if he…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local horny-as-hell woman Wendy Charleton fears what might happen if she were to get drunk alone with close friend Collin Montrose due…
CHICAGO — Local boyfriend who’s changed, he swears, Britt Keller promised on again-off again girlfriend Carolyn Mueller that he will do as little as humanly…
AUSTIN, Texas — Texas lawmakers continued their draconian war on reproductive freedom by passing a new law that would immediately sentence any woman accused of…
Listen, enough is enough! We have to take a stand. The snide jokes and digs and microaggressions have gone for too long. It’s time to…
LOS ANGELES — Local man Hugh Bellamy’s self care practice was revealed to be one of the more disgusting things ever heard of in recent…