Dan Kozuh
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CORUSCANT — The reigning Galactic Empire is selling old laser cannons, starfighters, and other weapons and vehicles to small-town police…
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John Danek
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DAYTON, Ohio — Local guitarist Max Gordon’s revealed today that her attempt to sell her old guitar amplifier has already…
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Danny Taverner
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DALLAS — Residents of the local punk house The Lincoln Memorial learned yesterday that the white noise machine they thought…
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Ryan Danley
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SAN FRANCISCO — A Novel Experience Bookstore owner Dale Severen was deemed “totally not legit” yesterday for lacking a dynamic…
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Ryan Danley
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LOS ANGELES — World-renowned documentarian Ken Burns has already completed two episodes of a seven-part series addressing America’s ongoing Second…
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James Knapp
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SEWARD, Neb. — A far-right militia completely failed in their mission to remain vigilant on election day after the entire…
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Bobby Korec
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CONSHOHOCKEN, Pa. — Local black metal band Nocturnal Defacement announced their public support yesterday for the “greater of two evils”…
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E.M. Caris
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HOLLYWOOD — McDonald’s announced yesterday the launch of a new fast food cinematic universe, starting with a ‘Hamburglar’ origin movie…
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Patrick Coyne
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Everyone at my middle school knows the story of “Gus the Gouger,” the creepy old janitor that lures children into…
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James Knapp
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As I am a very clever and unique person, my favorite Christmas movie is, of course, totally non-traditional. But I’m…
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