The rare three day weekend is upon us, and judging by your employment history, this is likely a more common experience than it’s made out…
PITTSBURGH – Local concertgoer Roger Macmillan ruined his brand-new $60 tour t-shirt with a perplexingly expensive Bud Light at record speed, witnesses report. “Perfect, just…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Local community members attending a nearby funeral reported the mood of the event was a bit sour thanks to the presence of…
Does your favorite band have blood on its hands? Did they put out an album or even just a song that perfectly summarized a genre…
EUGENE, Ore. — A local man bun was discovered to be full of gross raisins, sources who had already made it home with the bun…
TUCSON, Ariz. –– Local woman Anaya Marquez is concerned that pursuing a relationship with her friend David Alameda could jeopardize the incredible sex they’ve been…
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — “Christmas Vacation” actor Randy Quaid voiced his support for President Trump yesterday, ruining every sane, cheer-deprived American’s viewing of the holiday…
DENVER — Members of local hardcore crew Mile High Wolfpack adopted a stretch of highway last month, which has since fallen into complete and utter…
PORTLAND, Maine. — Music fan Trevor Eastman’s Pandora account is still reeling from the painful, ear-wrenching effects of giving a thumbs-up to a Simple Plan…
TUCSON, Ariz. — Local woman Estelle Gladstone survived another night in her battle with cancer yesterday, therefore completely blowing the perfect memorial tattoo idea her…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Vivid Nightmare frontman Liam Flaherty is unsure whether his 15 years participating in his local hardcore scene served to his benefit or utter…
SAN DIEGO — Local alcoholic Jerry Tatum announced plans to somehow ruin his niece’s wedding later tonight with his drunk and disorderly antics, despite the…
CLEVELAND — Recently signed hardcore band Pain on Fire discovered this afternoon that their recent promotional photoshoot was marred by a pleasant grin from their…
SEATTLE — The dismal sales of a T-shirt featuring an amazing design were blamed on the inclusion of the band name Love Drinking Pee-Pee, potential…
DENVER — Last night’s Sufjan Stevens concert was ruined by two disruptive audience members, whose hushed whispers throughout the show rendered the singer completely inaudible, multiple…