Johnny Mo
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GLENDALE, Calif. — Fraud victim Megan Howard made an emergency exit through her date’s bathroom window last night after an…
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Bobby Korec
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DENVER — Local police apprehended miscreant Max Yelban last night for mischievously shouting “Arcade Fire” in a crowded theater and…
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Claire Brown
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CHICAGO — Pop-rock band and music video powerhouses OK Go recently celebrated reaching over one billion views on their YouTube…
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Cory Cousins
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CINCINNATI — Brent Samuels, widely regarded as a terrible friend and questionable person all around, abruptly suspended his viewing last…
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James Knapp
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TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Punk and self-described “downfall of the establishment” Garreth Wilkes announced today that he will send a vicious…
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DETROIT — Joe Biden was seen pacing back and forth outside a local factory today, searching for the mother fucker…
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SPRINGFIELD, Mo. — Local frontman Spencer Wilt made an impassioned declaration to the Coronavirus "and other infectious diseases," clarifying that…
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Lauren Lavin
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ATLANTA — In an effort to slow the spread of the novel COVID-19, the Center for Disease Control recommended today…
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Freelancer
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WASHINGTON — The Democratic National Committee released a statement earlier this week urging all American citizens to exercise their right…
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Collin Canning
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LUBBOCK, Texas — Psych-rock band Three Inch Teeth treated their drummer Mitchell Gauthier to a night on the town last…
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