BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — Local cop and amateur wrestler Casper “Cooter” Jones, who has struggled with a violent past, present and likely future, arrived at the…
CALIENTE, Nev. — Subreddit moderator for r/RealAliens Devin Byam told sources Friday that, while he would absolutely be willing to free any extraterrestrials he is…
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my two on-again-off-again years as a drummer, it’s that drummers are the foundation of any band. Not only…
CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — Fantasy Flight Games released a highly anticipated new board game this week, titled Storage Worlds, which features the revolutionary mechanic of using…
I know what you’re thinking and, yes, I am a baby. Let’s get past that. It’s fair to wonder whether I should even be allowed…
Let’s face it, we wouldn’t be where we are without the help and guidance of our teachers who give us their all every day–minus the…
NEW YORK — In response to viewer complaints HBO had become too reluctant to dispatch high-profile characters on Game of Thrones, the show’s producers revealed…
FAIRBANKS, Alaska — Obvious alcoholic and general mess of a human being Jerrold Long announced today that he will spend the entire evening, and the…
PARIS — Local legend and longtime Notre-Dame resident Quasimodo will now be known as “The Hunchback of Holiday Inn” after being safely evacuated from the…
PHILADELPHIA — The Pennsylvania State Legislature introduced a bill this week proposing an additional tax on violent video games, in a concerted effort to encourage…
LOS ANGELES — In an effort to bolster declining viewership, the six-time Super Bowl-winning New England Patriots will perform during the Grammy Awards’ halftime show…
Every Red Dead Redemption 2 Tombstone to Feature Names of Real Developers Who Died During Production
Every Red Dead Redemption 2 Tombstone to Feature Names of Real Developers Who Died During Production
NEW YORK — Emaciated Rockstar Games’ programmer, Cassie Collier, revealed to Kotaku writer Jason Schreier that every tombstone in the forthcoming Red Dead Redemption 2…
CHICAGO — Noted rhythm-and-blues singer Robert Sylvester “R.” Kelly announced the impending release of an all-new hostage today, undercover police sources confirmed from inside Kelly’s…
ASHLAND, Ore. — A throng of mourners were reportedly horrified yesterday when it was revealed that Ajay Bhatt, inventor of the USB port, had been…
No matter how many gallons of twenty-somethings’ blood we inject, everybody still gets old and shitty. That goes double for so-called “classic songs.” Just because…
