James Knapp
•
MINNEAPOLIS — Local jokester Jeff Kessler’s impersonation of acclaimed actor Chistopher Walken last night was met with stunned silence, as…
Read More →
Ish Gupta
•
PHILADELPHIA — Local pop-punk band The Dysentery Garys have left Philadelphia, dejectedly returning to their hometown of Botsford, Conn., in…
Read More →
Ted Pillow
•
Being a socialist means I believe in income equality, universal healthcare, and affordable housing, but it sure as fuck doesn’t…
Read More →
Kevin Tit
•
TUCSON, Ariz. — Local cop and racist bully Dennis Peters, who once brought a gun to Roosevelt High School in…
Read More →
Patrick Coyne
•
SANTE FE, N.M. — A coworker you loathed with every fiber of your being strutted around your funeral yesterday telling…
Read More →
Jimmy Adamson
•
CHICAGO — Local woman Lilly Choi’s depression has devolved to the point that she has stopped looking behind the shower…
Read More →
Dan Kozuh
•
ADDISON, Texas — Addison Fellowship Community Church parishioners are lamenting allowing local metal band Cryptic Martyr to use their sanctuary…
Read More →
Doug Francisco
•
ELMHURST, N.Y. — New York City Sheriff's deputy Deandra Washington ceremoniously took a knee with the tenants of a local…
Read More →
Ryan Danley
•
LOS ANGELES — Former Misfits vocalist Michale Graves has successfully unseated Glenn Danzig as the band’s most ridiculous vocalist following…
Read More →
Alexandra Houle
•
LOS ANGELES — Australian commuter Daniel O’Connor spent $17 out of desperation yesterday during a layover at LAX for the…
Read More →
