Punk Tag Archives - Page 427

The Hard Times Staff • August 8, 2020

CHICAGO — Fast food behemoth McDonald’s announced today that they will remove the McRib from their menu worldwide to enable…

Doug Francisco • August 7, 2020

BALTIMORE — Local barista Eli McDermott's home is now completely furnished with the cast-off old furniture of his rich friend…

Billy Patterson • August 7, 2020

PHILADELPHIA — Local bassist Aaron Scherzinger realized today that he only needs to murder two or three of his bandmates…

Dan Kozuh • August 6, 2020

LOS ANGELES — The holographic image of late heavy metal icon Ronnie James Dio has broken away from its original…

Laura Merli • August 6, 2020

ELIZABETH, N.J. — Local terrier mix Baxter Mitmann wasted his incredible gift yet again this morning of being physically able…

Alan Khanukaev • August 6, 2020

SAN DIEGO — Local man Lyle Vaughn covered up his beloved Keith Morris-era Black Flag tattoo yesterday with the more…

John Danek • August 5, 2020

LINCOLN, Neb. — Researchers at The University of Nebraska-Lincoln’s Department of Psychology have found that setup phrases such as, “News…

Jerrod Kingery • August 5, 2020

EDGARTOWN, Mass. — Residents of the popular New England summer destination Martha’s Vineyard reported that a local coot and grizzled…

Patrick Coyne • August 5, 2020

ANDALUSIA, Pa. — A group of preteen boys playing in the woods yesterday were “totally meh” after stumbling upon a…

Jeremy Kaplowitz • August 5, 2020

BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Experts warned today that listening to the hit Mountain Goats song “This Year” is no longer enough…

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