HARTFORD, Conn. — Local comical shirt collector and self-described #Resistance member Jared Wayne was overjoyed this morning by the arrival of his months-old order for…
Legendary music producer Quincy Jones is best known for his cool demeanor and ability to spot raw talent, but the 79-time Grammy Award nominee was…
PYONGYANG, North Korea — Korean pop sensation Jin Dae-Soo, an original member of the K-Pop group POW*BL4ST, is now under the safeguard of the Korean…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Entrepreneur and stay-at-home roommate Eunice Gibbs begrudgingly washed the dishes this morning left from her dinner last Thursday after coming upon the…
LOS ANGELES — Fans of iconic mid-’90s rock band Weezer received a nostalgic thrill yesterday with the release of the “Ultimate Weezer Box Set,” containing…
Woah there, chief. Where you going so fast wearing that Misfits shirt like you ain’t got a care in the world? Bet you fancy yourself…
SPOKANE, Wash. — The Spokane Police investigation team asserted today that a fiber linked to the disappearance of an irreplaceable guitar stolen from a local…
NEW YORK — Vagabond crust punk Sheri “Tick Bite” Rowland was spotted outside of the Bowery Whole Foods store begging shoppers for “just $15 to…
MINNEAPOLIS — Super Bowl LII halftime show headliner Justin Timberlake asked league officials today if his friend’s band can “jump on the bill” on Sunday,…
CITY OF DIS, Hell — 78 percent of demons across the Netherworld experienced feelings of low self-esteem and body issues when subjected to the unrealistic…
SAN DIEGO — Daisey McKinley’s period asked her eyes and heart again this morning if they know when her white pants will be going on,…
VLADIVOSTOK, Russia — @DNCSorosTracker, one of the more successful Russian Twitter bots created to influence American elections, announced plans today to pursue a comedy career…
LOS ANGELES — Metallica’s live concert and online merch booth is now the world’s 32nd largest economy by GDP following another year of unprecedented growth,…
OFucking Garfield, man… he’s got his face all over T-shirts and TV and posters telling me to read. What a poser. He acts like he…
PONTIAC, Mich. — 55-year-old Juggalo Kevin “Klown Syndrome” Anderson is concerned young Juggalos won’t continue the positive Juggalo message created by his generation, sources close…