Those of us who straddle the line between punk and poser have a difficult time finding a place within the scene. I’m open-minded enough to…
PORTLAND, Ore. — The local apartment complex Oakwood Estates is allegedly really liberal with their definition of the term “estates,” according to sources who took…
LOS ANGELES — Yesterday’s discussion about polyamory between long-term couple Seth Roberts and Lindsey Wareheim came as a huge relief to Nick Siamas, the guy…
LOS ANGELES — “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” head writer Stephen Sanders has completely run out of the show’s trademark “especially heinous” plotlines, sources…
LOS ANGELES — Alt-right conservative commentator Ben Shapiro pulled his pants all the way down around his ankles yesterday to use the urinal in a…
BOISE, Idaho — A days-long investigation into the 2020 Wrapped list of local man Evan Burghart was revealed to be heavily edited in order to…
DENVER — Unemployed linguistics major Steve Carter spent hours looking through job boards yesterday before ultimately declining to apply for any positions upon noticing the…
BANGOR, Maine — Middle-aged goth Richard Irwin stashed his collection of The Cure’s landmark fourth album “Pornography” in the woods behind his house yesterday to…
BALTIMORE — An obviously broken phone that you for some reason refuse to replace reportedly does still work, assuming you don’t need to use it…
CHICAGO — Hip hop artist and aspiring real estate tycoon Chancelor Johnathan Bennett, known professionally as Chance the Rapper, plans to collaborate next with his…
NASHUA, N.H. — Pheasant Lane Mall Target employee Trevor Bennequist clocked out yesterday for lunch, only to discover that buying food would cost him more…
EFFINGHAM, N.H. — Phish devotee Pete Selner was told by his wife yet again last week to “get a fucking life,” which pales in comparison…
OSLO, Norway — The Norwegian Nobel Committee awarded their famed Nobel Peace Prize to Los Angeles resident Ned Thompson yesterday for his groundbreaking work in…