Dan Rice
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Viruses had something of a moment in 2020, didn’t they? Up until recently, serious diseaseophiles have maintained that they peaked…
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Nariko Ott
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We’ve all been there. Feeling stuck at your job; maybe staring at your dumbass kid. Dreaming of the day when…
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Kevin Tit
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LONDON — Elderly miser Ebenezer Scrooge is recovering in his palatial estate today after being exposed to COVID-19 following a…
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Taylor Roebuck
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MARQUETTE, Mich. — Local resident Jessica Stabley recently watched 85 episodes of a television series she doesn’t even like, purely…
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Lately, it feels like all my friends and family judge me for dating in quarantine. They take it as a…
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Rick Homuth
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In these unchill times, bros worldwide have been leaning on their dudes extra hard to make sense of shit. Between…
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Bobby Korec
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Let’s face it, regular spreader events do not make front page news anymore. Those dum-dum journalists are just not interested…
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Rob Walker
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DENVER — Local woman Stephanie Robbins admitted today she now wishes she hadn't already used the “deadly pandemic” excuse to…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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ATLANTA — Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have confirmed that the COVID-19 virus is gearing up…
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Mark Bouchard
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As Thanksgiving approaches, and COVID-19 rates get progressively worse, many of my friends are shocked that I still plan on…
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