Pandemic Tag Archives - Page 9

Kevin Flynn • March 8, 2021

WASHINGTON — As the infection rates and death counts throughout the nation continue to slowly creep upwards, citizens throughout the…

Dan Vanderpool • February 27, 2021

OAKLAND, Calif. — The local Oakland hardcore scene announced today that it will collectively convert to being a heavily tattooed…

Patrick Crooks • February 25, 2021

WASHINGTON — Independent venue owner Joe Englert panicked early yesterday morning after realizing he’s left sound guy Jake Montgomery locked…

Rachel Higgins • February 22, 2021

BOSTON — Local woman Jenna Jenkins allegedly made uncomfortable small talk with herself yesterday while self-administering a haircut at home,…

Tom Peters • February 21, 2021

COLUMBUS, Ohio — Local musician Wes Feltus is allegedly receiving ill-placed sympathy from friends who assume his income came from…

Patrick Coyne • February 14, 2021

SHERMER, Ill. — A heavily scripted and complex romantic gesture made by local man Chase Stratford last week reportedly swept…

Krissy Howard • February 14, 2021

MIAMI — Local holiday and generally despised time of the year, Valentine’s Day, is determined to absolutely destroy one of…

Patrick Crooks • January 29, 2021

ANAHEIM, Calif. — Yesterday’s funeral program for recently deceased Nathan Rivard was the most fun his friends have had since…

Dan Rice • December 26, 2020

Viruses had something of a moment in 2020, didn’t they? Up until recently, serious diseaseophiles have maintained that they peaked…

Nariko Ott • December 22, 2020

We’ve all been there. Feeling stuck at your job; maybe staring at your dumbass kid. Dreaming of the day when…

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