EARTH — The entire world was devastated to learn Friday that, because of a general oversight on humanity’s part, the COVID-19 pandemic is going to…
OXFORD, Ohio — In a journey that exposed one of his most glaring character vulnerabilities, local boyfriend Zach McInnes suffered -7 environmental damage per second…
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local gamer Stephen McLaughlin can’t help but hear the voice of the Super Smash Bros. Melee announcer saying “Continue?” every single time…
WARRENTON, Mo. — In a revelation that made him question his instincts, local gamer Kevin Lanigan recently realized that the shitty mobile game ad he…
LOS SANTOS, Calif. — In a move that local activists decried as the latest example of carceral state overreach, the Los Santos Police Department has…
SAN ANTONIO, Texas — After using his Animal Crossing themed Switch controller exactly 10 times, local gamer Jonathan Maislin was disappointed to watch it disappear…
DURANGO, Colo. — After sinking a few hours into the latest controversial game in the Cooking Mama franchise, local gamer April Ross discovered that among…
HUNTSVILLE, Texas — Roommates Audley Stoddard, Jay Heath, and Corwin Reed have announced their intention to continue regularly using a virtually broken controller because it…
DIMEBOX, Texas — As she attempted to locate another power supply that’s actually still in regular rotation, local gamer Willoughby Turner quickly realized that her…
LODI, N.J. — After consistently failing the same mission over and over, local gamer Josh Chung declared that unintuitive controls were to blame for his…