John Dixon
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ATLANTA — Adam Hansen, the lead vocalist of death metal band Corpse Licker and best known for his flowing locks…
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James Knapp
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WEST LAWN, Penn. — A violent altercation in an IHOP parking lot yesterday between members of doom-metal band Savage Agnes…
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Dan Kozuh
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IRVINE, Calif. — Fastidious and strict Irvine Public High School Principal Gene Jensen was assaulted at work yesterday by the…
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Nick Ortolani
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PLAINSVILLE, Iowa — Local virgin Andy Wardell grew concerned yesterday that his future sexual intercourse may resemble the acts described…
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Ashley Naftule
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SAN JOSE, Calif. — Local realtor Aaron “Shredder” Dukowski can’t wait to show potential buyers exactly where a gruesome quadruple…
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Mike Civins
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Curses! Here I am trying to enjoy a live-streamed performance from Cradle of Filth, my beloved purveyors of gothic metal…
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Kyle Stanley
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MANKATO, Minn. — Speedwolf drummer Levi Daniels abandoned his Tama Swingstar kit and assorted hardware yesterday to a “pants-shittingly” large…
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Goodrich Gevaart
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CLEVELAND — Cleveland School of the Arts Principal and metalhead educator Ryan Donnavin sent home 7th grader Alex Ramirez yesterday…
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Henrik Persson
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LONDON — Heavy metal legends Iron Maiden have launched a limited edition vintage wine, “The Number of the Yeast,” which…
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Dan Kozuh
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VENICE, Calif. — Punk rock was granted near-full custody today of seminal punk/metal band Suicidal Tendencies, with Metal receiving alternating…
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