ALBANY, N.Y. – Show promoter Steve “Froggy” Fordham is a DIY legend in Albany. He cares deeply about the next generation of bands coming up in…
Man With Awful, Noxious Farts Has Great Time At Show
DENVER – Despite recurring gastrointestinal issues that have led to countless lonely nights and angry stares from fellow bus riders, multiple sources confirmed that local metalhead Danny Walton had…
Local Band Threatens Audience With Encore
ATHENS, Ga – Several sources are confirming that local death metal band, Rats of Fire, threatened to play an encore after their already overbearing 35-minute opening set at…
NORWAY/Darkmoon Faire Realm – Norwegian black metal band Umskiptar have cemented their reputation as one of the world’s most notorious modern black metal bands through…
Satan Reportedly Unimpressed with 2017 Metal Selection
HELL – Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness and Ruler of All Things Evil, is reportedly unimpressed with what he called, “the lackluster state of current…
Guy Apparently Came to Show to Talk Loudly the Entire Fucking Time
PITTSBURGH, Penn. — According to witnesses at last night’s weekly metal showcase at The Clink, one man would not “shut his stupid goddamn mouth for…
Lemmy’s Wart Plans to Leave His Face to Pursue Solo Career
Los Angeles – The whole world knows the famous wart, the one that has spent its entire career residing on the face of heavy metal…
Killswitch Engage Guitarist Wins Better Band on The Price is Right
HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — After being called down to the contestant’s row, Killswitch Engage guitarist Adam Dutkiewicz won big during yesterday’s episode of The Price is…
Deafheaven Bassist Falls Asleep Onstage
[bandcamp width=100% height=42 album=4022394178 size=small bgcol=ffffff linkcol=2ebd35 track=3403585729] PORTLAND, Ore. — Deafheaven’s bassist, Stephen Clark, was lulled to sleep in the middle of his band’s…
Metalhead Upset His Band Didn’t Make the CIA’s Torture Playlist
PHOENIX — Brian Seymour was visibly upset while handing out his band’s CD-R demo near the exit of a local heavy metal club Saturday. According to…