WASHINGTON — President Biden issued thousands of pardons related to marijuana possession in a move that experts say will negate decades of Vice President Harris’…
WASHINGTON – Several members of the Supreme Court reportedly come together to form a pact, vowing to always be friends no matter what and to…
SUNVIEW, Ariz. — A local punk scene is committing to their decision to keep well-known abuser and the only keyboardist anyone knows, Matt Hulls, in…
MONTREAL — Canadian pop punk musician and overall good dude Jeremiah Dean released a public apology yesterday despite not being accused of any unacceptable behavior…
In 1970 the case of Roe vs. Wade was brought before the Supreme Court. After a nearly three-year trial and appeals process, the court made…
WASHINGTON — Democratic members of the U.S. legislature announced today that, “Fuck it, we’re gonna lower the minimum wage,” following backlash from supporters frustrated by…
WASHINGTON — Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh tried to create a new judicial nomination process yesterday, in which Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s successor will be whoever…
GOTHAM CITY — Billionaire Bruce Wayne, who recently revealed himself to be the masked vigilante known as Batman, has stepped away from his crusade for…
PORTLAND, Maine — Portland Police Department Officer Grace Hutchinson somehow fully believes that people have only recently started tampering with her food, snickering sources confirm.…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local protester John Reid reportedly missed a number of anti-police protests over the last few weeks, thanks to spending too much time…
SIOUX FALLS, S.D. — Rookie police officer and self-proclaimed klutz Ofc. Dennis Barton totally embarrassed himself this morning, spilling an entire cup of coffee all…
NEW YORK — Local undercover cop Daniel Cleary accidentally revealed himself as law enforcement during the protests surrounding the murder of George Floyd at the…
MINNEAPOLIS — Rioters protesting the unlawful killing of another unarmed black man at the hands of police officers successfully burned Minneapolis’ Third Precinct police station…
We are living in a golden age of suffering. My generation has filled too long the goblet of misery and now our cup runneth over.…
NEW YORK — 36-year-old self-proclaimed hardcore kid Kamal Ahmed was tried as an adult in New York Superior Court early this morning, court officials confirmed. “As…