ATLANTA — Georgia Governor Brian Kemp commissioned today the construction of a series of statues commemorating the COVID-19 virus as a way to “preserve its…
STRATFORD-UPON-AVON, England — Local punk and detestable rascal of ill-repute Bartholomew Alfraye expressed a most ghastly proclamation of ill-will today upon the members of the…
NEW YORK — Comedy Central announced the cancelation of “Straight Edge History” last night immediately after it’s inaugural episode aired, citing record-low ratings for a…
AKRON, Ohio — Local gamer Scott Landis’s languish was felt throughout the apartment upon his discovery that his PlayStation 2 memory card from 2003 had…
WILLIAMSBURG, Va. — New historical evidence suggests that former President Thomas Jefferson acquired a substantial amount of his wealth by cultivating and excessively endorsing CBD…
MIDVALE, Utah — In an attempt to invigorate his students with a passion for learning, AP U.S. History teacher Frederick Clemens decided half-way through the…
JUPITER, Fla. — Local woman Kim Vandiver’s search history is cluttered for the fourth day in a row with Buzzfeed quizzes and Craigslist apartments she…
BELLINGHAM, Wash. — A post to the popular classifieds website Craigslist advertising a couch for sale contained several barely-veiled references to the sofa’s rich sexual…
It is hard to believe Capitalism was once the lifeblood of America. That the our world lived and breathe by something called the Stock Market…
HONOLULU, Hawaii — Super Smash Bros. Ultimate for the Nintendo Switch was released today, the latest installment in the long-running fighting game series and the…
PHILADELPHIA – Reporter Bradley Gufftaw turned the world of music journalism on its heels yesterday during an impromptu interview of hardcore band Boston Bred, asking…
CHICAGO — Viewers tuning into The History Channel at 9 pm last night were surprised to find the scheduled World War Two documentary was just…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Substitute teacher and former Machine Oil frontman Jason Slomsky dedicated the entirety of his class yesterday to the history and importance…
WINNIPEG, Manitoba — Canadian political-punk band Propagandhi released their seventh studio album this week with Victory Lap, which features 16 pages of footnotes with each…
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Local punk and black person Mark Feeber attended a show Thursday evening, and not a single person in attendance used legendary hardcore…