ALAMEDA, Calif. — Local punk venue The Frick House installed depressed tenant Adam Gould on their couch yesterday, with full access to multiple streaming services,…
STANFORD, Calif. — Researchers at Stanford University’s Department of Biochemistry have developed a new drug test that simply checks a user’s Spotify playlists for the…
Dear Scabby: I am a straight woman who’s in love with a gay man — what do I do? -DELUSIONAL ROMANTIC Dear Delusional Romantic: Sexual…
BALTIMORE — Former 25 ta Life frontman Rick Healey, commonly known as Rick ta Life, finally noticed yesterday the obvious spelling mistake in both his…
TACOMA, Wash. — Self-described “true” Jimmy Eat World fan Tom Anderson was disgusted to hear early yesterday morning that you enjoy the band’s 2001 hit…
DAVENPORT, Iowa — A group of four white men found yesterday standing in an empty field outside of Davenport are, in fact, not in a…
TORONTO — Recent divorcé Simon Brandt, who hasn’t been to a live performance since before his marriage, purchased tickets today to see indie-rock act The…
CHICAGO — Doctors at UChicago Medicine were stunned last night when Spoonful guitarist Mike Murdoch awoke from a 46-day coma to berate his bandmate for…
SAN DIEGO — Local man and semi-frequent sex-haver Taylor Durham edited his 95-minute long playlist “Poon Tunez” yesterday while reluctantly accepting the limitations of his…
VIENNA – Local punk, former drummer, and current Vienna Philharmonic timpanist Griffin “Scuzz” Boyle removed his shirt minutes into his performance last night at the…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — A study conducted at Moog Music’s NAMM trade show booth found that everyone firmly believes they correctly pronounce the synth manufacturer’s name,…
BEDFORD, N.Y. — Recently single 31-year-old Alexander Harwood is reportedly longing today for the era in which grief and sorrow was solely expressed through away…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local dog and punk house resident Haley stared hopefully at the side of a stage last night after touring band Rage Party finished…
SEATTLE — Online retail behemoth Amazon filed an official complaint yesterday against band merch site Rockabilia in one of the first cases examining eminent internet…
AUSTIN, Texas. — Democratic Presidential hopeful Beto O’Rourke reportedly ate his sherpa last night following a treacherous table climb at an Austin BBQ restaurant, horrified…