SALINA, Kan. — Local nut job and content creator specializing in lawn maintenance Jimmy Dooley is rumored to be the only person in America who…
San Jose’s Gulch is hands down one of the most devastatingly brutal bands out now. Serving the perfect blend of catchy riffs, tasty guitar leads,…
WASHINGTON — Centrist Democrats across the country expressed relief at seeing President Joe Biden dehumanize refugees with more decorum than his predecessor, sources reported. “After…
RICHMOND, Va. — An exhaustive report from the Pew Research Center on the local scene made waves Wednesday as it confirmed every single former scene…
AUSTIN — Texas Governor Greg Abbott tested positive for the emerging Justified variant of COVID-19, according to a statement from the Governor’s office. “The Governor…
FOREST PARK, Ill. — Local woman in her mid-30s Laura McMann was carded again late yesterday evening when attempting to buy alcohol after her hormonal…
NEW YORK — Local punk Frankie Hartman lamented moments ago that he managed to stand yet again in the exact spot where everyone pushes past…
Each week, The Hard Times travels back and reviews a notable album from the past. This week we cover “Suicidal Tendencies,” the 1983 self titled…
PHILADELPHIA — All shows featuring tough guy hardcore bands are now on indefinite hiatus as musicians within the genre prepare to head back to Afghanistan,…
NEW YORK — Illusionist and endurance artist David Blaine dove headfirst into his craziest stunt to date yesterday by locking himself in a small room…
HYATTSVILLE, Md. — Local man Hanford Lin was nowhere to be found today after allowing touring band Snuffed to crash in the living room of…
ATLANTA — Local punk Rodney Tobleson reportedly stood completely still with arms crossed in the middle of the pit during a recent Wailing Anus show…
CHICAGO — Local hardcore band Generation Failure drew gasps from the audience during their first show back from lockdown as it became clear during their…
OGDEN, Utah — The recorder community grieved this week as its oldest living member, Jenny “Jelly Roll” Wilson, passed away at the seasoned age of…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local bouncer Frank DeGarge confirmed today that he is forced to cover up any non-tattooed parts of his body before clocking in…