Hardcore Tag Archives - Page 202

Finally! After Years of Harassing Them To Get Back Together, Title Fight Reunited To Serve Us a Restraining Order

Audrey Vieira • January 6, 2023

Title Fight was one of the greatest emo bands of the 2010s before they disappeared off the face of the…

Desperate Kevin McCarthy Agrees to Two Over-the-Pants Handjobs in Exchange for House Speaker Votes in His Favor

The Hard Times Staff • January 5, 2023

WASHINGTON — Embattled Rep. Kevin McCarthy offered Republican colleagues two over-the-pants handjobs, redeemable at any time within his term, if…

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New Evidence Shows Rep.-Elect George Santos Lied About Being One of the New York Hardcore Kids Trashing SNL During Infamous FEAR Set

The Hard Times Staff • January 4, 2023

NEW YORK — Republican Representative-elect George Santos is facing more scrutiny about his personal life after overwhelming evidence began to…

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Report: Death Metal Band’s Long Sleeve Shirt Has Way Too Much Shit On It

Chris Bowen • January 4, 2023

ORLANDO, Fla. — A new long sleeve shirt design for death metal band Gorebomb is confusing fans with its overwhelming…

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Review: Don Broco “Amazing Things”

John Danek • January 4, 2023

Usually when it’s time for The Hard Times to review an album, one of our editors hunts down a writer…

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Poor Band Reduced to Eating Drink Ticket Casserole for Dinner Again

James Knapp • January 2, 2023

DOVER, Del. — Struggling power-thrash band Boot Full of Piss recently sat down to a predictably cheap dinner made up…

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Scandinavian Actor Can’t Remember Which Skarsgård He Is

Ted Pillow • January 2, 2023

LOS ANGELES — A tall, blonde-ish actor with Scandinavian roots based in Hollywood is struggling to remember which Skarsgård family…

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16-Year-Old Fan of The Menzingers Already Nostalgic for His 20s

Max Barth • January 1, 2023

ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Local teenager and die-hard fan of The Menzingers, Jesse Smith, appeared today to be “tearfully nostalgic”…

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“Big Fan” Whispers Every Cop Walking By Andrew Tate’s Jail Cell

The Hard Times Staff • December 30, 2022

BUCHAREST, Romania — Law enforcement officers detaining controversial online influencer, misogynist, and sex trafficker Andrew Tate reportedly keep whispering “big…

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REPORT: Unclear if Friend of 10 Years Actually Likes You

Tim Sheard • December 30, 2022

PRINCETON, N.J. – Researchers at Princeton University concluded a nearly decade-long project which yielded inconclusive results regarding whether your long-time…

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