CUPERTINO, Calif. — Apple released a surprising new report today, revealing that the average iPhone owner uses roughly half of…
Read More →
John Danek
•
December 12, 2019
CINCINNATI — Friendless, pathetic loser Sonny Robertson attempted to remedy his loneliness yesterday by starting a group text with his…
Read More →
Patrick Coyne
•
October 16, 2019
ISLAND PARK, N.Y. — Adult punk with a secret, Christian past Steve Phelan is referring to his old church youth…
Read More →
Jonah Nink
•
September 21, 2019
MILWAUKEE — Up-and-coming psychedelic blues band Sharp Shave, made up entirely of human-sized, anthropomorphic sideburns, drew dozens of Wisconsinites to…
Read More →
Goodrich Gevaart
•
October 19, 2018
HOUSTON — Local man Carlos Berry is suspected of going from ironic enjoyment of the “Flat Earth or Death” Facebook…
Read More →
Gabe Wood
•
April 12, 2018
RICHMOND, Va. — That the only people local bachelor Scott Eckhart feels a familial connection with are the members of…
Read More →
Rick Homuth
•
September 1, 2017
HOUSTON — Drummer Philip McNeill announced earlier today he plans to learn enough conversational Spanish to navigate his band’s entire…
Read More →
Eric Navarro
•
July 28, 2017
ELLICOTT CITY, Md. — Following a barrage of terrible band name ideas from one member in particular, an unnamed local…
Read More →
James Siboni
•
March 3, 2017
ST. ALBANS, Vt. — Local folk revival band Big Bear and the Rambling Creek Ramblers added a pediatrician and veterinarian…
Read More →
NEW YORK -- Jessica Peterson was allegedly “shocked and confused” last night after every member of a group photo in…
Read More →
