LOS ANGELES — Three legendary punk frontmen, Dexter Holland, Milo Aukerman, and Greg Graffin, all departed their respective bands to join forces and prepare for…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local bassist Randy Jacobs is reportedly doling out expert advice on maintaining relationships despite being currently band-less and having just finished going…
BERKELEY, Calif. — A popular local hacky-sack circle broke late yesterday afternoon up over key creative disagreements among its many members, sources report. “I’ve loved…
SARASOTA, Fla. – 6th grader and budding musician Wyatt Backstrom announced that he was stepping away from the Squier Strat he received for Christmas for…
OAKLAND, Calif. — The local Oakland hardcore scene announced today that it will collectively convert to being a heavily tattooed running group after months of…
CROTON-ON-HUDSON, N.Y. — Robby Danter, bassist and devoted member of local band The Tennis Court Oath for the past six years and counting, is optimistic…
WEYMOUTH, Mass. — The guest list of an annual Friendsgiving celebration, truncated this year due to COVID-19 mandates, has shown excluded members their exact status…
CHICAGO — Local pervert Tommy Webster was surprised to discover yesterday a band named after mannequin pussy, his favorite fetish in the world, peeved out…
CUPERTINO, Calif. — Apple released a surprising new report today, revealing that the average iPhone owner uses roughly half of their storage space to save…
CINCINNATI — Friendless, pathetic loser Sonny Robertson attempted to remedy his loneliness yesterday by starting a group text with his Verizon bill reminder texts and…
ISLAND PARK, N.Y. — Adult punk with a secret, Christian past Steve Phelan is referring to his old church youth group as the “local scene”…
MILWAUKEE — Up-and-coming psychedelic blues band Sharp Shave, made up entirely of human-sized, anthropomorphic sideburns, drew dozens of Wisconsinites to a small Milwaukee club last…
HOUSTON — Local man Carlos Berry is suspected of going from ironic enjoyment of the “Flat Earth or Death” Facebook group to a very genuine…
RICHMOND, Va. — That the only people local bachelor Scott Eckhart feels a familial connection with are the members of an anime shitposting Facebook group…
HOUSTON — Drummer Philip McNeill announced earlier today he plans to learn enough conversational Spanish to navigate his band’s entire upcoming Brazilian tour by himself,…