Patrick Crooks
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SEATTLE — Local man Brian Preston failed moments ago to covertly adjust his balls, accidentally drawing the attention of everyone…
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Patrick Crooks
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BOWIE, Md. — The staff of Free State Digital are reportedly at their wits end over sales rep John Morris’s…
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James Knapp
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ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local 13-year-old Damien Glass suddenly sprouted a pencil-line mustache yesterday moments into his first listen of Motorhead’s…
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Lauren Lavín
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MISSOULA, Mont. — Local man David Baker’s ever-growing rat tail has reached a length that “definitely soaks it in the…
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Tom Peters
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GARDINER, Mont. — Sacred Blessings Ranch resident Ricky Valencia has grown impatient with his fellow commune members for repeatedly failing…
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Patrick Coyne
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WILMINGTON, Del. — Local woman Lily-Ann Greenaway is allowing a crust punk she met last week on a dating app…
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Jason VanSlycke
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SACRAMENTO — Local punk house staple and thought to be beloved cat GG Mewollin is actually an opossum, veterinary sources…
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John Danek
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CUMBERLAND, Md. — Local man David Englund sealed his own disastrous fate earlier today by reportedly dismissing a friend’s offer…
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Patrick Coyne
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JERSEY CITY, N.J. — Bassist and new band member Dylan McCuskey must eat no less than 3,000 eggs so his…
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James Knapp
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ATHENS, Ga. — Punk and new health insurance policy holder Nolan Nowickski is reportedly “going a bit overboard” with the…
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