Courtney Baka
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CLEVELAND — Local goth Stacy “Scheherazade” Kowalski reportedly may add a light gray sweater to her otherwise black wardrobe, potentially…
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Cory Cousins
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NEW ORLEANS — Local goth Peter “Draven” McGinty, burdened by his age and weight, has surgically removed his lower two…
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Goodrich Gevaart
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PHOENIX — Shock rocker Alice Cooper broke ground today on his new Republican-exclusive, goth-themed golf course, “Welcome to My Putt-mare,”…
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Michael Palladino
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PHOENIX — 33-year-old Josh Dalton is unsure whether the goth woman he dated last night was merely disinterested in him,…
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The Hard Times Staff
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SALEM, Mass. — The parents of goth teenager Thomas Sullivan are uncertain how to properly stuff their son’s fishnet Christmas…
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Dan Kozuh
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COLORADO SPRINGS, Co. — Known optimist and all-around “jovial soul” Sarah Burke was harassed again by the city’s goth population…
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Allison Mick
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BUFFALO, N.Y. — A ray of off-seasonal sunshine last week showed local goth Mark “Markness the Darkness” Patel that his…
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Ted Pillow
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It's back-to-school season and kids everywhere can’t help but feel nervous: Will they make new friends this year? Finally talk…
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CLEVELAND — Local goth Stacy “Scheherazade” Kowalski used an entire three-pack of lint rollers in just five days, according to…
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DUNWOODY, Ga. — Local goth Gordon Fletcher was reportedly unamused by a coworker’s recent observation that he looks like someone…
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