ENDICOTT, N.Y. — Local man Jullian Karnes is hopeful for a war waged by the working class towards the wealthy elite this Christmas, but will…
The abacus. The dodo bird. The shopping mall. It’s natural for aspects of everyday life to become extinct. Luckily, your father refuses to shop online,…
So you’re unemployed for the holidays. Bummer. You might be starting to wonder how you’re going to afford Christmas gifts this year. I mean, you…
LINCOLN, Mass. — Local homeowner Shauneese Fortenberry was surprised to receive a “punk” singing telegram yesterday that left the entire front of her house in…
CALGARY, Alberta — Local woman Deirdre McPhee is under the false impression that the lame love song her guitar-wielding boyfriend just sang to her was…
It’s hard being a rich punk. Especially when you’re not rich. So my parents got me a sweater for Christmas. The good news is it…
SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Die-hard calendar enthusiast John Beltran hoped the thin, square present under the Christmas Tree at his parent’s house isn’t actually a lame,…
The memories of Christmases of my youth never fail to fill my heart. Sure the gifts were great, but the look on my parents’ faces…
Wow! You put so much time, effort, and thought into this card. The problem is, that’s all you put into it. Normally I would just…
THREE OAKS, Mich. — Maggie Hinkle, the drummer of dreamo band LEERER, is reportedly showing her yuletide spirit by filling each one of her drums…
ELLENSBURG, Wash. — Members of local skiffle-punk revival band Rat Boy and The Cheese Police agreed to practice a song written by the group’s drummer,…
PROVIDENCE. R.I. — Benny Davison is not sure if his relationship with his wife of six years, Tara Davison, is serious enough that they need…
FERNDALE, Mich. — Thirty-year-old male Ryan Hess took a significant step toward curating a sophisticated and presentable home space when he reached out to his…
Girlfriends are always trying to fix you. Eat healthy. Get your GED. Don’t forget my birthday. At a certain point, you have to start living…