BRAUNAU AM INN, AUSTRIA — Fort Wayne, Ind. police officer Audrey Winnet traveled back in time last week to a small town on the Austria/Germany…
PAXTON, Mass. — The failure of a precocious gang of tween misfits to vanquish a cosmic evil known as Hy’groth and their resulting slaughter has…
STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. — Recently deceased Amazon warehouse worker Freddie Romero was named “Employee of the Month” yesterday for his tireless work ethic and refusing…
BATON ROUGE, La. — Wedding guest Jennie Fultz committed a major fashion faux pas last weekend by wearing a black dress and smokey eye shadow…
NINTH CIRCLE OF HELL — Denizens of the underworld are welcoming significant infrastructure improvements over the next few weeks as the newest arrival, billionaire David…
It’s not every day you get a chance to meet an industry legend, but we recently had just such an opportunity. The owner of the…
Tom Waits was born in the back of a boxcar in 1890, the son of a feral dog and a haunted phonograph. He has survived…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local roleplaying enthusiast Susan Warburton, confirmed to be “true neutral” on the alignment chart by close friends and family, considers herself to…
WASHINGTON — President Trump pardoned a 5-year old Bourbon Red turkey named Mikey this morning, sparking outrage amongst law enforcement officials who insist the turkey…
Through his beastly bands’ countless albums, Glenn Danzig has proven himself to be one of rock’s most devilishly engaging songwriters and frontmen. But what you…
SILVER SPRING, Md. – An evil mastermind struck again last weekend, when James Banks pulled off the greatest heist of our time — sneaking into…
KERHONKSON, NY — Sources report a local black metal band has been missing for over 16 hours following a “totally brutal” photo session that took…
HOLYOKE, Mass. – A local metal show took a bizarre and deadly turn last Wednesday night when a mock-ritual performed on stage brought forth a…