WASHINGTON — An ominous pulsating dark orb with unknown powers is set to replace Kevin McCarthy as the Speaker of the House following a historic…
CHICAGO — Taylor Swift concertgoer Noah Nussbaum was torn into dozens of bloody chunks of meat by dark, shrieking shadows in front of shocked onlookers…
Look, we honestly thought this would be a great idea. Oh, just have some adorable little preschoolers draw what they think God looks like. It’s…
MEADVILLE, Penn. — A week before his child abuse trial, local priest Justin Canthorne continues to cast himself as a “misunderstood iconoclast,” according to the…
BEIJING — Norway added another gold medal in the 2022 Winter Olympic Games when their team of Black Metal musicians dominated the Standing Around in…
LANCASTER, N.H. — A local historian of punk rock recently unearthed incontrovertible evidence that GG Allin’s full name was actually Gilmore Girls Allin, sources who…
Listen, I know I’m not perfect, and I know I’m not always my “best self,” but I’m sick of everyone in this town acting like…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local man Dominick Campbell exited a port-o-potty he described as a “crime scene level disaster” and gave a wild-eyed expression to the…
LODI, N.J. — Angsty third grader Billy Monroe reportedly caused a stir among Halloween revelers when he questioned the identity of a local mall Danzig…
BALTIMORE — Latest reports from staff and showgoers at historic venue The Crab Trap confirmed that the strange puddle of unknown origin is still present…
Once again, Disney has taken tragedy and turned it into something we can upvote on Reddit. When superfan Brian McKenzie learned there was going to…
CONSHOHOCKEN, Pa. — Local black metal band Nocturnal Defacement announced their public support yesterday for the “greater of two evils” in the upcoming presidential election,…
ATLANTA — Writer James Mann was reportedly scribbling down ideas in a moleskine notebook after being suddenly struck with the idea of “Superman if he…
BRAUNAU AM INN, AUSTRIA — Fort Wayne, Ind. police officer Audrey Winnet traveled back in time last week to a small town on the Austria/Germany…
PAXTON, Mass. — The failure of a precocious gang of tween misfits to vanquish a cosmic evil known as Hy’groth and their resulting slaughter has…