Jake Menez
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August 26, 2021
Hey, thanks for agreeing to meet with me in this shadowy parking garage. Okay, so before I can buy a…
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What the hell are you talking about?! My self-care cannot be self-harm. That would be impossible. Nobody cares more about…
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Eli Johnson
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July 22, 2021
SCHAUMBURG, Ill. — The local manufacturing scene is buzzing after an exclusive new factory opened in a redeveloped nightclub on…
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It has long been rumored that microdosing is the secret behind the success of billionaires like Steve Jobs, Elon Musk…
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Josh Klasco
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July 16, 2021
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Local straight edge 22-year-old Niki Mishtia once again proved that he is perfectly capable of acting like…
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Nick Ortolani
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July 12, 2021
YONKERS, N.Y. — Darnell Hudgens, recently paroled from Westchester County Correctional for marijuana distribution, is reportedly encountering challenges obtaining a…
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Eric Navarro
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July 6, 2021
Dude, we got this new strain of weed from Maryland called “Bong Hit Transplant,” and it will melt your face.…
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Bobby Korec
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July 3, 2021
I’d like to apologize to every single person who attended my surprise intervention. Had I known it was happening I…
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Alec Stein
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July 1, 2021
SCHAUMBURG, Ill. — Self-proclaimed author of the next great American novel Frank Trotsky recently came to the terrible realization that…
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NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Local man Trevor Good blamed his morning coffee habit for the constant nervous chatter in his…
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