Opinion: Thank God It Went to Voicemail
Jesus, that was a close one. I got that roller coaster feeling in my stomach for a second. You know…
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Josh Klasco
17 stories found
Report: That’s Not How Mom Makes It
DENVER — Local man Liam Cooper announced that a peanut butter and jelly sandwich his girlfriend charitably made for him…
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I’m Only Masturbating to This Lil Nas X Video Cuz I Love Football
So I guess we're not knocking anymore? Alright, so you caught me whacking it. You can stop freaking out. Let’s…
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Desperate Band Prepares To Play “Only A Few Tix Left” Gambit
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local psychedelic doo-wop band Francis and the Francy Boys are preparing to play the “only a few…
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Heartbroken? Here’s 5 Magnetic Fields Songs To Make Everything Worse!
You spent four years in the most exhilarating relationship of your life. For the first time, you felt lovable. You…
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Years Of Self-Love And Therapy Undone By Momentary Glance In Mirror At 3 A.M.
PHILADELPHIA — Shiko Dikaoni fell to pieces after glimpsing their reflection in the mirror in the middle of the night…
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Straight Edge 22-Year-Old Doesn’t Need Alcohol To Act Like an Idiot
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Local straight edge 22-year-old Niki Mishtia once again proved that he is perfectly capable of acting like…
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So-Called “Bisexual“ Hasn’t Had Sex With Perfectly Even Number of Men and Women
If there's one thing I hate, it's people that lie about a sexual orientation that I don't even really believe…
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Car Manufacturers Pledge to Go 100% Electric by Time It’s Too Late
DETROIT — Automobile manufacturers across the country hoping to stem the tide of climate change pledged to go 100% electric…
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Conservative Uncle And Socialist Niece Bond Over Hatred of Democrats
DENVER — An unlikely alliance formed between a conservative uncle and socialist niece thanks to their shared distaste for the…
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