Democratic Tag Archives

Biden Cancels Campaign Citing Low Ticket Sales

Garry Kerls • July 21, 2024

WASHINGTON — President Joe Biden announced he would be scrapping his plans for a reelection campaign citing low ticket sales…

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Report: Local Noise Scene Doing More for Trans Rights Than Every Democratic Representative Combined

Colleen Nerney • December 7, 2023

ST. LOUIS – The local underground noise scene is reportedly bringing positive momentum to the trans rights movement at a…

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Bernie Sanders Receives Mysterious Letter

Jeremy Kaplowitz • April 9, 2020

BURLINGTON, Vt. — Senator Bernie Sanders has reportedly received a mysterious white letter with a red seal less than a…

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Democratic Party Finally Defeats Left-Wing Politics

Kaitlyn Jeffers • April 8, 2020

WASHINGTON — The Democratic Party celebrated another milestone today in their continued effort to suppress left-wing politics following Bernie Sanders’…

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Beto Writes 311 Lyrics On Hand Before Debate So He Won’t Forget Them

Dan Kozuh • October 15, 2019

WESTERVILLE, Ohio — Struggling Democratic contender Beto O'Rourke wrote several popular lyrics by alternative/metal band 311 on the palm of…

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Yang Campaign Rocked As Punkface Photos Surface

Brooks Gray • October 8, 2019

NEW YORK — Democratic Presidential hopeful Andrew Yang defended himself this morning when a small, highly opinionated faction of citizens…

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pat flynn, have heart, debate, sound and fury

Pat Flynn Accidentally Qualifies for Second Democratic Debate After Impressive Sound and Fury Performance

Dan Vanderpool • July 30, 2019

DETROIT – The Democratic National Committee announced that Have Heart frontman Pat Flynn qualified for the second Democratic debate after…

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Andrew W.K. to Be First Presidential Candidate to Run for All Parties in 2020

Tom Fuller • October 2, 2017

NEW YORK — Andrew “W.K.” Wilkes-Krier will run for the U.S. presidency in 2020 as a representative of all parties,…

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Bill Clinton’s Ska Band Looking Forward to Eight More Years of Practicing in White House Garage

The Hard Times Staff • August 22, 2016

WASHINGTON -- With Hillary Clinton’s steady rise in the 2016 Presidential election polls, former President Bill Clinton is optimistic he…

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Bernie Sanders Running a Little Late to DNC, Asks to Go On Last

The Hard Times Staff • July 28, 2016

PHILADELPHIA - After a tough primary battle against Hillary Clinton, Senator Bernie Sanders has notified the DNC that he is running…

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