In my entire life, I have never breathed a sigh of relief quite like the one I enjoyed when I found out that the era…
WILMINGTON, Del. — Democratic Presidential candidate Joe Biden purchased a Fender Jazzmaster and green Line 6 DL4 delay pedal yesterday in a transparent effort to…
WASHINGTON — Nancy Pelosi played a match of Overwatch as the black character Doomfist earlier this morning to celebrate Black Lives Matter. “Black Live Matters…
WASHINGTON — Democratic Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders accidentally told former Vice President Joe Biden “nice set” after tonight’s democratic debate, an audio clip released by…
PHILADELPHIA — Staffers within the Joe Biden presidential campaign are reportedly begging the former Vice President to stop mashing the A-button through all of his…
WASHINGTON — Presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren dropped out of the 2020 presidential race following a rough Super Tuesday showing where it was revealed she polled…
LOS ANGELES — Former New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg announced he will be suspending his presidential campaign via a multi-million dollar ad campaign, sources…
LOS ANGELES — A confused Vice President Joe Biden announced he is dropping out of the democratic primary contest today, throwing his weight behind moderate…
EL PASO, Texas — Convicted pedophile Marcus Fleming killed two birds with one stone earlier today when he canvassed for Michael Bloomberg during court-mandated neighborhood…
DENVER — Local pornography enthusiast Brett Wallace was caught off guard moments ago by an advertisement for Democratic presidential candidate Mike Bloomberg while watching a…
SOUTH BEND, Ind. — Mayor Pete Buttigieg held a press conference today to announce the end of his presidential campaign after realizing he was not…
CHICAGO — Democratic presidential hopeful Pete Buttigieg admitted yesterday that, in times of quiet reflection, he often daydreams about ordering the first openly LGBTQ drone…
COLUMBIA, S.C. — Former Vice President Joe Biden’s campaign is reeling today after the Democratic contender reportedly kissed a baby square on the lips while…
CONCORD, N.H. — Andrew Yang announced he will be dropping out of the presidential race tonight, but promised to deliver a heaping helping of “go…
RALEIGH, N.C. — A shirtless Senator Bernie Sanders stepped into the UFC Octagon vowing to take on all comers during a media workout ahead of…