When I left home to become a big-time mall Santa divorce attorney in New York City, I never thought I’d end up back in my…
LOS ANGELES — Local police officer Mark Woodside warmed up for a long day of work beating college kids peacefully protesting genocide by knocking around…
NEW YORK — Local cop Thomas Hannon admitted that he’s excited about his upcoming paid leave of absence once he is disciplined for brutalizing a…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Andrew Snee recently spent an entire weekend binge-watching well-known crime drama “Law and Order: SVU” free of the guilt of cheering…
LOS ANGELES — The Los Angeles Police Department announced that in response to requests from the public they are now allocating $50,000 of their budget…
DETROIT — A mixture of ridicule and disgust caused local man Derek Jones to announce his new mustache is not a serious endeavor and is…
Los Angeles isn’t exactly known for being adorable, but two little guys in Griffith Park might just change that. Meet the cutest animal friends you’ll…
It’s almost time for Whore-o-ween, and apparently you are considering dressing as a sexy law enforcement officer. We think that’s a great idea: after all,…
NEW YORK – The 46th precinct in the Bronx is celebrating a record-high quarterly murder quota by offering pizza, games, and an overall good time…
MINNEAPOLIS — Officer Dale Kisserman of Minneapolis’s Third Precinct returned to work earlier today after a mandatory administrative leave with a rejuvenated sense of bloodlust…
LOS ANGELES — Veteran Los Angeles Police Officer Sergeant David Lancaster came forward as the inspiration for Rage Against the Machine’s 1992 hit, “Killing in…
TARZANA, Calif. – Straight Edge LAPD Officer Donald Harvey could not decide whether to plant narcotics on a man from Reseda after an altercation Friday…
CEDARBURG, Wisc. — Local school safety officer Jacob Miller quietly admitted he was jealous of a gunman that opened fire on a classroom killing eight…
CHICAGO – A local cat known as Pudding saved an officer of the Chicago Police Department that ran up a very tall tree and got…