John Danek
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Hey. Hi! Yep, you’re reading the sticker over my left nipple correctly. It says “BLOOD DONOR HERO”. I made it…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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NEW YORK — Local live music fan Rocco McMillan reportedly came home to find his tickets to an upcoming Every…
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Chris Jones
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HOUSTON — Scientists at NASA monitoring the Perseverance Rover made a startling discovery today when it sent back photos of…
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Bobby Korec
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LOS GATOS, Calif. — Netflix announced yesterday that they are ordering a slew of new violent homicides to generate content…
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Krissy Howard
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LAS CRUCES, N.M. — Local woman Bette DeVargas made use of her time home during the Coronavirus pandemic by turning…
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Tom Peters
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GARDINER, Mont. — Sacred Blessings Ranch resident Ricky Valencia has grown impatient with his fellow commune members for repeatedly failing…
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Nick Ortolani
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PLAINSVILLE, Iowa — Local virgin Andy Wardell grew concerned yesterday that his future sexual intercourse may resemble the acts described…
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Ashley Naftule
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SAN JOSE, Calif. — Local realtor Aaron “Shredder” Dukowski can’t wait to show potential buyers exactly where a gruesome quadruple…
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Henrik Persson
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TAMPA, Fla. — Death metal veterans Cannibal Corpse have launched a signature line of embalming fluids called “Cadaverous Conservation” in…
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Ben Friedman
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CHICAGO — An Avis car rental in Lincoln Park is trying to send the federal government a $50 cleaning bill…
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