PLAINSVILLE, Iowa — Local virgin Andy Wardell grew concerned yesterday that his future sexual intercourse may resemble the acts described in any of the Cannibal…
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Local realtor Aaron “Shredder” Dukowski can’t wait to show potential buyers exactly where a gruesome quadruple murder happened inside the two-story…
TAMPA, Fla. — Death metal veterans Cannibal Corpse have launched a signature line of embalming fluids called “Cadaverous Conservation” in a move to supplement their…
CHICAGO — An Avis car rental in Lincoln Park is trying to send the federal government a $50 cleaning bill today to remove the blood…
MIDDLETON, Wisc. — A new update to Activision’s Call of Duty: Warzone requires users to give up 100gb of their hard drive space as well…
The mid-1960s were an exciting time in rock. Bands were gradually shifting from throwing together a few hits and a handful of fillers every 9…
Hey dude, turn that shit off, put on that last Racetraitor record and get everyone to gather round. Why? Check this shit out. Chris’s brother…
FORT WAYNE, Ind. — Amateur GG Allin impersonator, and introverted man that has no business being on any stage, Logan Ethridge insisted he was unable…
AUBURN, Maine — Local man David Strathe asked locals yesterday where he could donate blood while frantically attempting to balance multiple bags, sacks, containers, and…
DENVER — Panicked local guitarist Leonard Walsh wiped blood from his face moments ago while insisting his band drop everything, hit the road under cover…
MANCHESTER, N.H — Recently discovered journals belonging to the late GG Allin revealed surprising new details about the singer’s creative process, as well as the…
The impossible burger is changing the game for vegetarians and vegans. The scientifically crafted meat substitute is close to the real thing it even fools…
NEW YORK — Author and Kotaku News Editor Jason Schreier is reportedly going through the period known as “crunch,” working grueling 20-hour days in order…
SAN DIEGO — Daisey McKinley’s period asked her eyes and heart again this morning if they know when her white pants will be going on,…
FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. — Writer and self-publisher Moses Friedman stunned the independent literature community late last night by announcing he would release one “very” limited edition…